Friendship: The Ups & Downs

Happy Friday, everyone!

I don't know about all of you, but this week went by fast for me. It's crazy to think Halloween is just around the corner! Thanksgiving and Christmas will be here before we know it.

Speaking of this week, I can't tell you how excited I've been this whole time waiting to see if there would be a request from someone regarding a topic they would want me to write about. Well, as you can see by the title, one came through! Thank you for reaching out!

Keep in mind that I don't plan on giving away names in general due to privacy reasons, unless they specifically tell me they don't mind.

Are you guys ready to dive into the first official topic? I know I am!

I'm currently 25 years old, and I can easily say I truly didn't start making friends strictly in school until I was 18 and started college. I am a true introvert, never cared to fit in and was always reserved which automatically made me an easy target for people to pick on. I grew up with trust issues as well, which explains my lack of interest in actually trying to make friends or just meet people in general. But when I started college, oh let me tell you … I consider myself blessed to have met the people I became friends with.

I have unforgettable memories from staying out until 4am at iHop or Denny's just chatting with friends, always being able to hang out since we lived in the dorms, etc. I'm still close with most of my college friends till this day, but believe me, sometimes it takes work if a difficult circumstance arises.

As mentioned in my previous posts, I plan on being as real and open as possible while I write. That being said, I think it's funny that the person that reached out to me wanted me to give an opinion on what I think the definition of friendship is, if I've been through difficult moments with certain friends or to simply just write about memorable experiences because something stressful regarding one of my personal friendships occurred just this week.

It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but I've been starting several arguments with one of my closest friends recently. Sometimes, life can get stressful for many reasons, and I'm unfortunately the type of person to have trouble communicating my feelings in the moment, so I tend to lash out easily at the people closest to me.

Now, with this particular friend, I basically consider him my brother. We're very similar yet very different, but at the end of the day we have a strong bond no matter what. Unfortunately, this week was the first time I've felt a bit distant from him after a particular argument happened.

He's the type of person that is so easy to talk to, but after reflecting on my recent actions, I realized I've been taking advantage of how patient he can be. It was very hard having to have a brutal conversation along with receiving a wake up call, but that's how I believe we learn in life. It's always the hardest moments that teach us much needed lessons.

The reason why I bring this recent scenario up is because I want to make a point in stating that having friendships is not always going to be easy. Just like a relationship, it can also take work from time to time because relationships in general have to be a two way street. If just one person is always trying to do their part and the other isn't, it's not healthy.

"Balance isn't something you achieve "someday"" by Nick Vujicic.

Easily one of my favorite quotes because it's very true - WORK and EFFORT are involved in maintaining balance in life, which is why you hear a lot of people say that finding balance is hard.

It is! No one said it was ever easy.

Same thing with friendships specifically: there has to be a balance coming from each person. That was a lesson I had to remember the hard way this week after feeling that awful distance.

Friendships can have their difficult moments just like I had mine with my friend this week, but the beauty behind it is that it's an opportunity to grow together. Life is all about learning, and if you can find those type of friendships where you sincerely feel you can share the good and the bad, I say you got one of the greatest gifts life can give you. For me, friends are people that I choose to love and care for as if they were my own family. I truly believe you can find people in your life that you can experience that unconditional love without having to be blood related.

Have I lost friends on the way? Absolutely. Am I still friends with some people that I've known for years? Yup! When I look back and think about certain friends, I will admit I miss them. I miss the good old times, but sometimes some people are only meant to be in one's life for a short amount of time.

But that's not a bad thing either.

Like I said, life is about learning, and maybe that person popped into your life in that specific year or specific month to teach you something.

I've personally lost friends as the years went by, and I went a long time carrying anger as to why that happened, but one thing I've learned is to treasure those memories no matter what. It's all a matter of changing perspective when thinking about it - be thankful you got to share a bond with that person, and that feeling is something no one can ever take away from you. You'd be surprised how it can brighten your day when you think about them and the good times you've shared.

Friendships can be tricky, but man are they worth it. I can't even begin to tell all of you how much my friends have gotten me through.

So, to conclude, I want to leave some homework for all you readers.

If any of you are currently going through a rough patch with one of your friends, reach out to them. Take it from someone who instantly gets filled with pride often and never wants to be the first one to reach out- that mentality isn't worth it.

One of the hardest moments I can ever go through is feeling as if I'm the one that cares way too much or am simply the only one that cares. Those feelings make me go insane, and I let my pride convince me to keep quiet and hope the other person reaches out. If there's a big lesson I learned this week after going through a rough patch with my friend, is that communication is literally everything, no matter how cliché it may sound.

He taught me to always speak in the moment, no matter what I'm feeling. People can't read minds - tell the person how you feel because your feelings are valid. But if everything is going super well in your friendship, doesn't matter! Still reach out and let them know you care or simply ask how they're doing. Maybe they're the person that doesn't want to reach out first either.

Friendship is something I have learned to treasure so much, so thank you to the first person for reaching out and giving me the opportunity to write about this as this week's topic.

I hope all of you take the homework assignment into consideration, and if you do, I would love to see comments or messages to let me know if you guys decided to do so or if you just want to give your opinion as well.

Don't forget to subscribe to keep up with future postings, and I look forward to receiving more requests!

Happy weekend to all my loyal readers :)